Mar 302013

I am currently working on a novel. I have hundreds of handwritten pages and manual typewriter written pages that I am making sense of, rewriting and rearranging details into a coherent storyline. Recent events in my life have made me want to return to my “Ambidextrous Productions” short stories. I also think of them as “Work In Sanity” short stories, and I have been recently inspired by witnessing some of the insanity that surfaces in the workplace. I am still working a job I don’t want to get fired from, but that boss that wasn’t too impressed with my writing process for the short stories (written and published completely on time and supplies taken from my telemarketing job nearly 15 years ago) is no longer my supervisor, and he is a drunk old bully, so I hope that he thinks that every time he doesn’t see me, every moment I am not in his sight, I am using ALL company resources to create fiction that mocks the absurdity of the corporate world. I’m not saying that I am doing that, I’m just saying I’d like that drunk old bully to think that.
He suffers from the same workplace insanity that the owner of the company does – people have been polite to them for so long, regardless of their behavior, that they begin to forget how to be polite themselves. For most of us, when we are assholes, people begin to treat us like assholes. But when people are nice to you because they want to keep their jobs, it doesn’t matter how much of an asshole you’re being, it is the rare employee who will risk losing his or her job to point out how inappropriate and rude his or her boss is being. I am reminded of a classic Sandy Erikson lyric “If you were walking around with snot on your face, wouldn’t you want someone to come and tell you about it?, so if you were being an asshole, wouldn’t you want somebody to come and kick the asshole out of you? y’know, I would.” I’m not going to kick the asshole out of these men, because, well, I don’t like them enough to do them the favor. Oh, and they would probably sue me, even though I would be doing them a favor. Of course they would sue me, money defines everything to them. I have been given health advice from this drunk old bully who has chronic kidney stones, weighs 30 lbs more than me, with a gut that displays his drinking problem. He brags about his former athletic prowess and claims to have “worked out every day for the last 20 years”, but I honestly don’t think he has EVER been in better shape than me, and even if he was, what makes him think he knows more than me about health? Oh, that’s right, he makes more money than I do, he is smarter than me in every way.
So welcome back to my blog. Prepare yourself for weekly updates about ridiculous things management does in front of their employees, because they somehow think employees are polite because they respect their managers. How could you respect someone who gives you a nickname like the Molester or Little Boy Blue? And it is kinda funny, cuz I think he is trying to be witty and make people like him, but he is really acting like a bully and alienating people. Funny, but sad. I would rather have my tiny paycheck (which just keeps getting tinier, but that’s another story) than live that kind of lonely disconnected life. Till next time, my only advice is…
Just show up to the page.